New year, new place.

A few weeks ago, it was brought to my attention that some healthcare workers didn’t like me standing in front of the Waterford each Saturday. I took it really hard. I felt terrible and defeated. I never wanted them to think I was protesting what they do and thought I’d gone to lengths to be clear about that, but it would seem the message wasn’t clear enough. One of the lines that really got to me was that my entire goal was void if I contributed to the burnout of even one HCW.

“Go back!” my friends and husband urged me. “Not everyone is going to be happy with you.” And they were right. I had comments directed at me before, but never from a healthcare worker. All I could think about was my sister. She’s a paramedic, and I pictured her burning out because of a person like me. Even though she told me it felt like I was also advocating for her and other HCW, I couldn’t stand the thought of being the cause of someone like her burning out. She is my hero and I love her endlessly.

For the last few weeks I’ve been wrestling with what to do. I spent too much time crying and feeling sorry for myself. I threw every single scenario out at my husband to the point he probably wanted to plug his ears. Especially when I would sit up in bed at 1 AM and tell him I NEEDED to solve things before I drove myself to the brink. Granted, my mental health hasn’t been ideal so insisting he help go over every location with me at 1 AM wasn’t super healthy.

But after all this, I think I’ve come up with a plan for year two of trying to get the attention of politicians and the public. You see, a lot of year one was trying to get the message out there. Trying to get people to understand that there is a difference between short and long-term mental healthcare. And I think I actually succeeded. The parties acknowledged my questions during the absolute mess of a provincial election, the media helped me get the message out there, Paul Dinn brought up long-term mental healthcare in the house, Perry Trimper brought a petition to the house, recently $10 000 was raised from the community for the Jacob Puddister Memorial Foundation, and 40 calendars were delivered to each MHA to use in 2022. All that blows my mind and it wouldn’t have been possible without SO MANY incredible people.

One of the things that was so important to me when demonstrating at the Waterford was that it reached the public. Each week cars would drive by at relatively slow speeds and read the signs held by me and the regulars. It felt like we were spreading the message outside Twitter. One of the things about moving elsewhere was reaching the public. Standing on the sidewalk by Confed was absolutely pointless to me because cars roar by. I’ve already been lumped in enough with anti-vax protests. I want none of that.

Anyway— here is my plan.

When: roughly 8:30 each Monday morning. I’ve done the calculations and spoken to my angel of a manager. I’m going to take 7 vacation days and this covers one hour each week to demonstrate. Yes, it means I have to stick to a strict half hour and give up having the group of people who stood with me each week—but that’s the way it goes.

Where: Confederation Building. It was VERY important to me not to demonstrate to an empty building which is why I didn’t do it from the beginning. Hopefully this way I will reach people walking in out of the building during working hours. And I will be making sure some MHAs know I’m there.

What: I’m going to pick one PC, Independent, NDP, and two Liberals, and write them an email each week. In the email I am going to suggest something they should address when it comes to long-term mental healthcare. Will I repeat things? Yes. Will I get some of those things wrong? Yes. But hopefully some of my ideas are valid and doable. When I post my photo on Twitter, I will include a photo of that email and encourage people to write their MHA about the same thing. Then, in order to reach outside Twitter, once a month I’m going to write a letter to the editor, or call into Openline— alternating each month to discuss the things I’ve written the MHAs about that month and ask the public to think about it.

By doing these things I hope to reach both politicians and public with practical things that should be done. I still loathe the idea of Confederation, but hopefully this way it won’t seem so empty and pointless.

And that’s the plan for year two of squeaking. I’m sure I will mess up, and if I do, I genuinely hope people will call me out in good faith if I’m in the wrong. I need to be willing to be held accountable no matter how soft and stupid I am. I probably shouldn’t feel so defeated by the criticism.

As always— I repeat: Long term mental healthcare needs to be more accessible.